Friendship garden!

One of the most rewarding parts of any garden I've ever had is the friendship garden....and everywhere I go I collect little pieces of my friends' gardens and transplant to mine. A snippet of this and a start of that from friends have been planted in many of my gardens. It's like having them with you always. The white peony reminds me of Judy and her big colonial house in Idaho, the Bergenia's heart shaped leaves remind me of Aunt B, the Columbine reminds me of Colorado and the chicken and hens will always be a memory of Mom's garden. I had an English neighbor in Colorado with a total gardener's heart. Julia and I talked over the fence almost everyday and soon "bits and bobs" of my garden made their way to her house and daylilies and iris from her yard were planted in mine. A special friend was her mother-in-law that lived across the street who walked by everyday and we got acquainted as she took a rest and chatted while I worked in my front yard. One day she invited me to come across the street and see her miniature doll house collection. It filled an entire room and she had made fantastic little items that were encased in tiny little rooms. Then, she snipped off a piece of her orchid cactus with a simple hand gesture and gave it to me. Her smile was a little shy, her 80 plus years of wisdom delightful....and we became friends. The orchid cactus came with me and thrives in a tall basket in the window here in Oregon. Thank you Jean for your friendship.

Monday's gardening lesson!

It's very difficult to grow things in the shade.....growing things need their own sunlight. We need hugs without being captive....we need one another without being shaded by dominance....we need companionship without control.....we need love without being imprisoned. We need to stand in our own sunshine and allow our beloved friends and loved ones to stand in theirs. Seedlings that are not thinned so they have their own sunlight and space soon begin to get spindly and wither...they do not develop the strength to mature.

One of my favorite authors on the subject of love is Leo Buscaglia. I stood in line to get his autograph once upon a time and with that signature came a hug that so encompassed me, I knew from that moment on how to really hug. Not the Hollywood, mamby-pamby hug that pats a little and air kisses the cheek, but a hug that let's you know that you are connected and there is a human kinship between the hugger and the hugee. Here's a little quote by the famous hugger.

"Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade." ~Leo Buscaglia

May we polish our souls without needing,

May we open our hearts without bleeding.

May we be together without clinging.

May our spirits fly as if winging.

May love not manipulate and carve,

Another’s dreams or let plans starve.

May we support with kindness and delight

This time and space where love has flight.

For love and light has come invited,

Welcomed hearts are now delighted,

To have and hold sweet dream of bliss,

But not too tight and so it is!

I saw a wonderful picture frame in a shop window yesterday while sister and I were in Seaside...that had the inscription on it...... "Hug as if you mean it."

My grandson, Wyatt and I have always hugged as if we meant it......he has grown into a sixteen year old man. Whew! He still hugs his Granny Joye....thanks Wyatt for all the hugs!

Garden Of Relationships

Perhaps a good relationship is like a walk through a great garden.  Mindfully...being fully present, one person enters the interior garden of the other without trampling any of the flowers, without blaming anyone for the presence of a few weeds...weeds happen.  On this journey we proceed with great appreciation for the immense time, pain, work and growth it took to be this way.  Visiting another's garden requires attention and appreciation of the design and patterns.  Everyone knows a good garden involves comtemplative planning and being a compassionate witness to the process of growing.  It involves being an alert observer, the warm sunlight of affection, careful tending, nurturing and validating encouragement to grow....without the judgmental diversionary mind set of controlling the elements or setting a time frame when things will ripen.  A good garden and a good relationship are both hospitable places where one's design is accepted no matter how straight the rows are or how fragmented the design may seem to others.  It is that vulnerable place where we are granted permission to bloom in the safety of being loved and tended to, just like we are.  When we visit one another's gardens, let us be compassionate witnesses...nor judge, jury or critic.  It is in this intimacy that relationships are formed, love deepens, communities and people flourish.  Get growing!